The lost Calculator Story!!

Hello, I am the infamous IIMK lost calculator. And this is my story.

I am one of the most mailed about stuff on IIMK mail server. A lot of guys have been barred from accessing the campus dc++ servers for sending mails asking about whereabouts of me and my brothers.

I was born in a Casio factory in China. Unaware of where my destiny will take me, I was happy to be alive and kicking in the land of yellow people. I secretly wished that I would land up somewhere like on a cashier’s table at a non-computer savvy casino at Las Vegas, so that I could “peek-a-boo” few strippers or do some cool analytical/financial calculations. But then I saw the wretched carton I was to be put into. It read “XXXXXXXXX, India”

Now I had heard horrifying stories about the calculators who went there and were lost, either in a dark corner in a middle class home or beneath old books in a student’s room. Devoid of any sunlight, they were forced to slow painful death and that too with a long wait. There was a hope that someday somebody would find them. But the hope never saw the dawn.

I reached India, within next 48 hours. And while I couldn’t exactly figure out, where I was headed, I knew it was somewhere further south. I could find out that because as I moved, the rate of speech of people handling my carton increased.
Then on one fine day, the carton was opened. I didn’t expect India to be as cool as it was there. Within two days I found myself to be handed over to my real owner, one who paid 500 bucks for my capabilities. I came to know I was in what they call- “God’s own Kampus”

The same day, I saw some calculators getting a white sticker on their backside mentioning their owner’s name and some number. I guess humans too have batch numbers like us. One of my kind remarked- “Now I would never be lost. Yuppie!”. Suddenly all my fears rolled in front of my LCD panel. I wished hard; please stick one at my arse too. I don’t want to get lost like few of my forefathers. But my owner was perhaps too lazy. He brought me to his room and put me in his bag.

My dream of Las Vegas was never going to be realised now. If at all this moron went there, why would he take me with him. This conclusion wasn’t a very long drawn one. As I went to all the lectures with him, zipped inside the front pouch, the guy never needed my assistance. Either he had some vedic mathematics techniques. Now if he didn’t need me calculate all those IRR, NPV, standard deviations, he must would be way too sharp to use me to calculate how much he earned at that LV casino. (Although now from my experience I can say, probably he conveniently chose to relax or copy from his nerdy neighbour.

The one day, suddenly I was pulled out from the bag and taken to the classroom. I realised it was some Manac quiz. But all the poor guy could do was to insult me by making me do simple additions. Rest of time he spent in asking all around in hushed voice- “4th question ka answer bata bhai”

I was so bored with my master that for the first time in my life I wanted to be lost far away from him. Then one fateful day while the guy was dozing off, I heard sounds of “Do you have a cal C?”. Gradually the voice came nearer and finally came into the room. My owner replied in his sleep- “Bag ke andar hoga bhai..utha le” . He never cared to see who he was giving me to.

My new master was a genius. He made me do all the fancy stuff viz. solve equations, matrix calculations, logarithmic functions and what not. It made my day when this bailee (yeah I went through some Business Lectures too!) of mine forgot who he bailed it from.

I later on found that he had lost his cal c in similar manner and now that he found me and couldn’t recollect who I really belonged to, he made up his mind to own me. Finally I was rechristened by that white sticker and I knew couldn’t be lost again.
I shared joys of my honour and was proud of myself when he got great term grades. I thought now he would always keep with him. Some fellows asked him for a treat. We went to college canteen and I was put on the side edge bar along with a copy. While I stood there enjoying everybody jump over the ordered food, I never imagined a unknowingly push from someone’s elbow would make me fall down from first floor of the canteen.

I was hurt but still in my senses. I waited there for someone to pick me up. But I had landed in a seemingly obstructed space where nobody saw me.

So here I am, writing my story with whatever cell life remaining with me. The sun rays never reach here. I did get wet on many occasions when it rained. I may be old and wrecked but I haven’t given up. The hope survives, the hope of getting a newer better owner, who would keep better care of me. I know she (yeah! I too crave for a female touch and for the matter of fact they care better) is somewhere out there….

Dil goes Hadippa..Hadippa

Again a delayed review. So sorry about that. But can't help much with me sitting in IIM Kozhikode :(

How do I like pass afternoon on an off day. Yeah you got it right. Watching a feel good non-brain loading bollywood masala film. So I chose to watch DIL BOLE HADIPPA..

Another YashRaj film. So, got to be some inherent YR attributes. Punjab, Farmlands, Western-clothes bashing and some dreams waiting to be realized.

One of my close friends has played national level cricket; therefore concept of woman aspiring to be a great cricketer didn't sound alien to me. :)

The movie starts off on a chirpy note with six sixes in six balls by Veera kaur (Rani), right tey left hand bats(wo)man, who works at a local theater. Rakhi Sawant is here for what she does best. Some hip shaking and non-stop bakwaas, but she is tolerable.

Anurag singh does good job in setting a pretext which is fictional but believable as a plot- Aman cup, a bilateral yearly match played between India and Pakistan (which adheres to the talk of these times by replacing 50-over game with T20)

I personally felt a bit offended by Anurag's potrayal of an Indian Team which is on a losing streak for 8 (going to be 9) defeats in same number of years. Khair koi nahin, after all we have our very own Desi English county player Rohan Singh (Shahid) who gets a call from his Dad, Anupam Kher (organiser of aman cup and owner of Indian team).

We get some resemblances from Hum Tum with stranged relationship between Shahid's parents Kher and Poonam dhillon (who has lost some weight seriously)

Well it isn't much of a surprise when Rani dons a man's getup (understandably becoming a surd, that's the closest when girls can look non-females). The name is Veer Pratap Singh, and it's not just one of the things coming from Veer Zaara, another YR Film.

After that follows the understandable dual role portrayal by Rani in front of Shahid, who Punjabi baap ka Punjaabi Beta, and again understandably can't fall for Steammmiiiinngg Hottttt Sherlyn Chopra, whom I can easily excuse of poor acting.

Rest movie is all about fulfillment of dreams for a father, his son and the aspiring girl.

And I can hardly forget the "switch hands/grip shot" which even Kevin Peterson would be proud of.

The movie is timepass fun but I couldn't help noticing some technical errors, some of them not entirely new. eg.

When Anupam kher shows match clips of previous match to his son, he is actually showing the Movie clip with cameras at positions which are impossible during a cricket match. These errors have been repeatedly spotted in many other films. Ideally the clips should have been different with match camera angles

Similarly, 6 months before 15th August ( 15th Feb) Anupam Kher says to shahid, "I know your county season is off for next 6 months". County cricket in england is played only during summers and is off in winters. Anurag should have taken care

In T-20 match, for first 6 overs, only two players are allowed outside the inner circle. The match here starts with at least 4 players protecting boundaries

In the concluding scene, when Rani's actual identity is revealed (cmon guys, it wasn't a spoiler..was it), between Veer and Veera there was a lot of makeup and kaajal done on Rani's face in just two seconds.

But as I mentioned, you should relax your brains and watch the movies with open hearts, the movie does giggle (or at least brings smile) at few occasions.

For me the movie is worth one time dekko.... I could have given a lower rating some other day. But today it gets....

Rating ***

Hedged!!

Sometimes life is very UNHAPPENING...I guess that's how i can explain my past few days. With no time to sit and relax and maybe introspect, one is forced to think only about assignments, submissions, deadlines, exams...

At occasions one would hope for some off-loading with time, but things keep piling on.

a couple of days ago i wrote a derivatives certification paper. It had an interesting hedging concept which can be briefly stated as:

When you are feeling bullish about markets, you tend to hold stocks, but to eliminate high loss risks in case your assumptions aren't true, you sell Call options (which predict fall in stock prices). Thus you hedge possible losses in stocks by some profits in Futures.

The hedging concept though does minimizes the risk but it also diminishes returns in case market went bullish.



TOO MUCH OF GYAAN I KNOW.....but following herd mentality that is Engg. degree from good college then MBA from premier institute is just like selling futures/options as mentioned above. Somewhere we know that maybe this is not the thing you would love to do for your whole life, but because of low level of trust in own abilities (prediction of bullish markets), we either sell stocks (leave the quest of our own ambition) or hedge it with selling futures (herd protocol).

On the contrary the people who trust their market prediction abilities (called speculators) buy futures/options to compliment their gains from rise in stock prices.

These people who are high risk takers, chose the path they desire theirs to be and end up either being a high achievers or incur losses which are huge and sometimes may be irreversible.


I just wish at the end (when option/future expires) , i would end up being on positive side......

15 Hours..1 Assignment....Made 180 MANiACs

His smile always had a knife soaked in honey. He used to say- "Start it as soon as possible..because it isn't something you could finish in a night"

It turned out to be true. On a dreaded day (last Thursday) he chalked on the board:

MANAC ASSIGNMENT
APPENDIX-C
Deadline: Tomorrow 3:30pm

With 7 classes on Thursday, we couldn't do much before 7:30 pm. 3 of the 5 sections had traumatized looks on their faces, when they came for an early dinner. Huddles with same point of discussions were to be seen all around. Somebody mentioned -"Its kind of an assignment we can't even divide amongst ourselves and then copy later".

It seemed like "Dementor attacks". People moved in groups towards library with tensions visible on the face, which tried to disguise the fear that was shivering everybody to their shoes.

Once glued to their seats people did realize it was every guy/girl for himself/herself. From capital investment everybody had to start with, to the loan amounts, payback methods, assets purchase, business type, transactions created by self (total 150 of them), nothing had people on same page.

Starting at 8, it took around 5 hours to create first Ledger, then ledger, trial balance, P&L and Balnce sheet. It was already 3 am. We took a break and went to Night Canteen. After gobbling up some maggi and chips and of course some much needed thass (1.5 hrs), we were back to work. Sleep refused to oblige most of us, thankfully though.

Finished 2nd set of accounts around 11am next day. Burn Out. Even the thought of the 3rd set was instilling vomiting feelings. Almost nobody came for the 1st class. 10-15 people who reported in other classes were all sleeping while Profs came and went. Everybody in the college knew that 180 souls were left to wander in the oceans of MANAC, which turned them (us) into maniacs...........

The ended well with one of the movie screenings by our STI prof Mr. Matthews, the one about whom I plan to type in some keys sometime in next month.

People are still drained out with pale faces. 15 hours definitely take some toll on you...Rehabilitation and Recuperation is still going on. Hope survives!!

Lord, Let the poor organisms rest in peace before the start of another run of the mill, hectic week.

Amen
Pravs

Main PGP Student 13/292.......

Main PGP Student 13/292, A2 ki middle fourth row se saamne dekhta hun,
Ghadi ke kaanton ke minton ko ghante mein badalte dekhta hun,
Wo kehte hain CP hai bahut important,
Fir kyun mera mann kuchh kehne ko nahin karta hai,
Wo kehte hain "Knowledge is Voluntary",
Fir kyun low attendance ka harjaana koi bharta hai,
Main PGP Student 13/292, A2 ki middle fourth row se saamne dekhta hun

Main PGP Student 13/292, A2 ki middle fourth row se saamne dekhta hun,
Ek frenchie rakhe huye prof ko idhar se udhar uchhalte dekhta hun,
Wo kehte hain "There is no right or wrong solution to a case study",
Fir kyun meri answer sheet mein ek bada laal gola dikhta hai,
Sab kehte hain ki "Wo bada ****** hai",
Fir kyun shakal se bada bhola lagta hai
Main PGP Student 13/292, A2 ki middle fourth row se saamne dekhta hun

Main PGP Student 13/292, A2 ki middle fourth row se saamne dekhta hun,
Ek golu molu bachhe ko demand supply curve banaate dekhta hun,
Wo kehte hain "He is still to get married",
Fir kyun nahin wo Kunnamangalam market ke pizza corner pe date karta hai,
Game theory and Price discrimination mein uljha hua bechara,
Kyun apni jawaani ka check mate karta hai...
Main PGP Student 13/292, A2 ki middle fourth row se saamne dekhta hun

Main PGP Student 13/292, A2 ki middle fourth row se saamne dekhta hun
Ek dadaji ko Raj Kapoor ki oonchi pants and sports shoes pehne dekhta hun,
Wo ek class mein padhaake z-transform, probability and normal distribution,
Kyun 3 class mein median mode padhata hai,
Wo kehte hain "We are running behing schedule"
Fir kyun CAT paper ki negative marking ka concept ek ghante tak sunaata hai,
Main PGP Student 13/292, A2 ki middle fourth row se saamne dekhta hun

Main PGP Student 13/292, A2 ki middle fourth row se saamne dekhta hun,
Apni likhi book ko bechne aaye salesman ko Balance Sheet banaate dekhta hun,
Wo kehte hain "Asset=Liabilities + Owner's Equity always",
Fir kyun har sawaal yahin aake fasta hai,
MBA students ko question paper mein sher aur chimpanzee bataake,
Sath mein +1/-0.5 ki scheme lagaake kyun wo hampe hasta hai,
Main PGP Student 13/292, A2 ki middle fourth row se saamne dekhta hun

Main PGP Student 13/292, A2 ki middle fourth row se saamne dekhta hun,
Ek sookhi maachis ki tilli ko "Silence for 2 minutes" bolte dekhta hun,
Wo kehte hain "This will bring peace to your minds"
Fir kyun har koi 2 minute ki power nap le leta hai,
Wo kehte hain ki wo PGP CHAIR hai,
Fir kyun mujhe woh baans ka MOODA lagta hai,
Main PGP Student 13/292, A2 ki middle fourth row se saamne dekhta hun

Just another wait till dawn......

2:01 am, 4th Aug

I am always surprised, why I write stuff at such awkward times. But this time I have a brilliant excuse. 4 Presentations down in 4 hrs and 3 more to go. I guess it's enough to claim I am bored. :(

Life@IIMK has been hectic, but could have been managed better if I (we) wouldn't have spent one third of our time worrying about how will we manage all things in limited 24 hours.

Mid-terms just 2 days away, and I am still wondering how to start. People might say that 2 years of work ex behind my back, it will be tough to follow a curriculum again. But in my case the things haven't actually changed from engg college days... :)

It all reminds me of the wonderful 4 years i spent in NSIT. People are very much the same. Circumstances may be a lot more testing. But after a point one tends to get numb owing to the pressure that just refuses to go. That's the best thing an IIM teaches. :)

We had a couple of get aways. It was fun with more than half of our class went for dinner and a stroll alongside the beach. As a safety measure, no guy was left alone for any single minute, owing to Calicut's claim to fame as "Gay capital of India"

Most of the days we sleep around 5:30 am, get up at 9, classes throughout the day till 5, then assignments ensuring that none of your time is wasted till again 5 next morning. If you are wondering how do we manage with just 3 hrs of sleep, just forgot to tell you that one has to learn how to sleep tactically in class without getting caught. :)

Till next dawn....

Ciao
Pravs

Poetry at 4:30 in morning!!!

pic of the valley from my hostel at IIM K

I was listening to some beautiful poems from my favorite hindi poet Dr Kumar Vishwas

कोइ दीवाना केह्ता है, कोइ पागल समझता है,
मगर धरती कि बैचैनी को बस बादल समझता है,
मैं तुझसे दूर कैसा हू,तु मुझसे दूर कैसी है,
ये तेरा दिल समझता है या मेर दिल समझता है

For complete poem click here (video) or here (lyrics)

I added a couple of paragraphs to it. :) Dedicated to a very dear friend of mine!! :)

जुड़े नाते थे जो सारे, मैं वो सब तोड़ के आया,
हाँ सच है मीठी यादों को मैं फिर भी ओढ़ के आया,
था छोडा उस फसाने को हसीं सा मोड़ एक देकर,
मगर उन भीगी आँखों में मैं खुद को छोड़ के आया!

जो खा ठोकर संभालता हूँ, तो क्यूँ दूं दोष राहों को
किसी के आंसू बह बह के, धोएँगे मेरे घावों को
बताओ कौन फ़रिश्ता है, नज़र आये तो पहचानू ,
कभी पूछूँ पहाडों को, कभी नदियों को, गावों को !